Here Comes (B)ridezilla

My girlfriend is getting married this summer. She’s met a great guy and I’m very happy for her. However, since her engagement, whenever I talk to her, the conversation is focused on her upcoming wedding. If I ask how the plans are coming along I get an earful. If I try to dodge the subject, I still get an earful. As the date draws closer, the planning has reached a fever pitch. There is no life; only "The Wedding."  Yesterday, I made my first of what will be many “Tevis-planning” comments to my husband. He rolled his eyes and with a strained smile replied, “Here we go again.” At that moment, it occurred to me that planning a wedding is just like planning Tevis. And now that Tevis is within what I call the countdown phase, I am behaving exactly like my friend the bride-to-be. I've become a ridezilla.

You don't believe me? Read this twice, the first time ignoring the text in the parentheses. Read it the second time and substitute the test in the parentheses for the underlined text. Then I dare you to tell me I'm wrong.

In the beginning, riding Tevis (getting married) is a far off dream that most every endurance rider (young woman) aspires to. But she knows that she must first find the right horse (man), and not just any horse (man), but one that can really go the distance. Finally, she meets the horse (man) of her dreams. Their training (relationship) progresses and she realizes that he’s THE ONE.  She decides she’s ready to commit to riding the Tevis (getting married).

Ridezilla.

Bridezilla

The date is set. She selects her crew (maid of honor and bridesmaids) and gives them their initial list of duties and tasks, which will be revised over and over and over as the BIG DAY draws near. There is much to be planned, from outfits and menus to transportation and logistics.

Ridezilla crew.

Bridezilla crew (aka maid of honor and bridesmaids).

All this time, the unsuspecting horse (groom) has no idea what is in store for him. He just goes along like he’s supposed to and does what he’s told.

Months pass quickly, and the date of the BIG DAY is close enough for the countdown phase to begin. The closer the BIG DAY gets, the more all-encompassing it becomes, until every minute of every waking day is about Tevis (the wedding). The crew (bridesmaids) is (are) now smiling at the rider (bride) through clenched teeth; they are secretly ready for the BIG DAY to be over because the rider (bride) has turned into ridezilla (bridezilla).

The night before the ride (wedding), there’s no sleeping. And when the rider (bride) finally falls asleep, morning comes quickly and she bolts upright in her bed and exclaims, “Today I’m riding the Tevis (getting married)!”

The day goes as planned. Everyone fulfills their assigned duties. The ride (bride) is beautiful. The party lasts into the wee hours of the morning. When she finally lays her head on her pillow with her Tevis Buckle in her hand (wedding ring on her finger) and her horse (husband) by her side, she realizes she is the happiest rider (bride) in the world.

Footnote: As I write this, Tevis is seven weeks away. I’m in countdown phase. I need to select my crew and assign them duties, fine-tune my horse, organize my equipment and—perhaps most important—schedule the time for the EasyCare crew to glue my shoes on for me. However, having done this many times before (Tevis, not weddings) I’m much more relaxed about it. I’m still with the same horse (and husband), and both are very tolerant of me. I’m trying my best not to be a ridezilla, but it is Tevis.


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